Sticks and Stones....

I learned the value of forgiveness, many years ago. That doesn't mean I'm accomplished in it. New trials pop up every day, tempting one to harbor contempt and some of them are really hard to overcome. Nobody on this earth is perfect. Not by a long shot. So many times I have read or heard these messages of forgive and forget like God does. To me it seems like they don't wish to confront the sin as mentioned in Matthew. To me it’s a contradiction of scripture. I mean which is it? Confront sin or forgive and forget? It seems to me this is handled upon the parties comfort level. If they don't wish to face the abuser - forgive and forget is used. We can forgive and forget as the saying goes if the person turns from their sin, but if they are constantly asking for forgiveness for the same sin? There is no heart change there, and that is what God asks of everyone. It seems discernment needs to be used.

I feel like I truly understand why I need to forgive those who have caused pain in my life. Do you remember that saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but WORDS will never hurt me.” Boy, as often as I used that ridiculous saying when I was a little tyke; it was actually the complete opposite of what the truth would come to be.  Words have/do hurt, especially when they come from someone you love and thought loved you…. Friends that have been through so much with you, give promises that were made to seem to be genuine, but sadly broken. Words hurt. And because of the hurt, this ugly word made a home in my heart. Bitterness….. Oh I am far too familiar with that ugly word. I kept a lot of it stored up for someone that was extremely important in my life, or so it seemed. I was told things that pierced my heart in a way that I thought I could never get over. I never wanted to get over. But who asked what I wanted? I think that’s when it went all wrong, when I tried to write my own plan, and travel this journey and hope it all worked out for the best. If only I wasn’t so foolish and immature with my selfish thinking. But thankfully, my eyes have been opened. I now see it as God's way of telling me he doesn't long for us to harbor contempt and other burdens that would hold us down. He wants us to let it go, and to seek prayer and open our heart to love again. (As difficult as it tends to be sometimes) Forgiveness is a tool to have a heart change as God would wish us to have. Abusers will ask for forgiveness, and it’s NOT for them! They use this as a tool to wipe the slate clean, but God is asking for a heart change. 

And that’s what I’ve done….. I have forgiven you. As I also pray to be forgiven. 

Two letters....

Dear Jesus: 

I know You must feel like no one is paying attention, but I am. I know it seems we are all sleeping, but You have woken me up. Me and my friends. Thank You. I know it seems like no one is listening to Your Word anymore, forgive us. Teach me Your heart and help me to teach others. Thank You for the courage to speak out for You. Thank You that You have shown me how to pray for things more important than myself. Thank You that You are calling people in increasing numbers. I know so many people doubt You even exist, what pain that must cause You. I will spend my life telling them about You. Thank You that I am awake, aware, redeemed and forgiven. Thank You that You have given us the weapon of Your Word to fight the enemy of this world. Thank You for fighting for us. 

-I love You, Lord.

I run to You!

**************************************************************

Attention satan:

I know you think no one is paying attention, but I am I know you think that we are all sleeping, but I am wide awake. So are my friends. I know you think you can sneak around in the shadows, but I am calling you out. I know you think that no one knows the Word of God anymore, but I do. And I am teaching others. I know you think we are all afraid to speak out against you, but I am not. I know you think no one prays for unselfish things anymore, but there are many of us and our numbers are growing. I know you think you’ve convinced people you don’t exist. But I know where you live. Me and my friends -we are aware, awake, praying, and we know what the Word of God will do to you when applied correctly. We see you. We know your fate.

~Run.

Is there really an American Dream?

Have you ever had a sudden urge to stop whatever you're doing, find a good book, maybe play some music and just have some quiet time. Alone. Just you and silence? In this world today, it just seems to be a lost cause. Which makes me sad, honestly. Granted, I love to stay busy, have work to do, people to see, go to the gym, visit random stores, and maybe some trail running.... things that make up my daily life. But, I feel we ALL need our alone time... our quiet time to settle down, calm our heart and thoughts and focus on one thing for once. And that's what I did.... I've been hearing, randomly, about this "amazing" book, that just makes you say wow and although you try to say something else, nothing else comes out." That sounds like my kind of book. Well this particular one is called: Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream.

So, with that being said, here's my thoughts..... 

David Platt (the author) is a pastor of a huge church but this book is about the complete failure and sometimes open hypocrisy of the mega church of America and how they approach "missions"...a better and more accurate name for Platt's perception of it would be "life". 

David Platt challenges our commitment to Christ and His church and what we think that means. He comes straight on and doesn't shy away from criticizing the current state of American churches or explaining basic (but sometimes complicated or unpopular theology). I heard the title of this book off and on, but had never really looked into it. I picked it up knowing no more than the title and that it was being read by a lot of my friends it seemed like. I was suspicious. It was written by this pastor of a four-thousand member church and its focus was on missions. (Not that either of those things are inherently bad at all!) But pretty soon I was just enjoying it and feeling convicted...and writing lots of notes.

Here's the thing.... Are we willing to obey the orders of Christ? Are we willing to be like him? Are we willing to risk our lives to go to great need and to great danger--whether it's in the inner cities around us, the difficult neighbor across the street, the disease-ridden communities in Africa, or the hostile regions in the Middle East? Are we willing to fundamentally alter our understanding of Christianity from a luxury-liner approach that seeks more comforts in the world to a troop-carrier approach that forsakes comforts in the world to accomplish an eternally significant task and achieve an eternally satisfying reward?

We have adopted a Christianity consumed with little devotional thoughts from God for the day, supplemented by teaching in the church filled with entertaining stories and trite opinions on how to be a better person and live a better life in the twenty-first century. Meanwhile, we hold the matchless Word of God in our hands, and it demands a superior position in our lives, our families, our small groups, and our churches. Do we realize the battle that is waging around us? There is a true God over this world who wants all people to bow at the feet of the loving Savior, and there is a false god in this world who wants all people to burn in hell. The battle is intense, and it cannot be fought with little thoughts in daily devotional or petty ideas from a preacher on Sunday. It certainly can't be fought with minds numbed by the constant drivel of entertainment on television, DVDs, video games, and the Internet. If you and I are going to penetrate our culture and the cultures of the world with the gospel, we desperately need minds saturated with God's Word.

"... and this is where we need to pause, because we are starting to redefine Christianity. We are giving into the dangerous temptation to take the Jesus of the bible and twist Him into a version of Jesus that we are more comfortable with; A nice, middle class, American Jesus. A Jesus who doesn't mind materialism and who would never call us to give away everything we have. A Jesus who would not expect us to forsake our closest relationships so that He may receive all our affection. A Jesus who is filled with nominal devotion that does not infringe on our comforts, because, after all, He loves us just the way we are, right? Or how about a Jesus who wants us to be balanced, who wants us to avoid dangerous extremes in His name, and who, for that matter, wants us to avoid danger all together….. A Jesus who brings comfort and prosperity as we live out our Christian spin on the American dream. (The American dream? What is that by the way? Hmmmm….I’m not even going to get started on that topic…. Maybe another time:)  But do you realize what we are doing at this point? We are making Jesus into our own image." - David Platt, Radical

I have sooooo much more to write about it seems, but my vision is getting blurry and my alarm clock is going to be screaming at me in 4 hours. Which will then cause me to scream at my client to work train harder... So hopefully someone will benefit from my late night blogging. Good afternoon, good evening and good night....

Updates!! Updates!! What's (been) going on??.

I've actually been writing a lot in the past 6 months. But it's been more of the old fashion way, just me, my pen, paper and some goooood music! I decided just to write somewhat of an update on here just for lack of online blogging sake. :) Oh, of course! And for my thousands of followers on here! Can't forget about ya'll! ;) Well, whether anyone reads this or not, my online blogging conviction has been set free and I get to review some of the things that have taken place of the past 6 months or so.  With that being said, I'll start with my summer....

Was it a GREAT one or what? I'm pretty sure it was my favorite one thus far! Having the privileged to me up in Maine for two months, surround by a great group of fellas (and a few gals) and young fellas, was just the tip of the iceberg! I was asked to be the group leader for the 14yr old boys. And without hesitation, I accepted! (I had been previously working with the younger boys - 9,10,11- the last 2 summers) With older boys, come more or well, different challenges and opportunity. Now when I say challenges, that does't necessarily mean difficult ones. I had the best time with them along with the other counselors that were in my group! We went on a 3 day whitewater rafting and paint balling trip.... ohhhh man! Where do I even begin to talk about that one? Well, I'll just cover the highlights we gave to the camp director when we returned. ;) Uh hummm.... let's see... after the 5 hr (slow) bus drive, we arrived in this back woods, middle of no where ( no phone service for miles!) whitewater rafting hotel type place... unloaded our stuff and was taken straight to the paint ball battle fields. (ie, another 15min slooooow bus ride) When we arrived, the counselors quickly formed an alliance and got some of the 15yr old's and took on my group of boys! (PAYBACK time) We didn't lose a match! MUUUhahahaha..... Finally at the end of our battles, it was "time to meet your maker" for a select few of the boys who gave us some trouble on the bus ride up. The counselors and I lined them up in the firing squad position and on the count of 3 the five of us shot the rest of our paint balls at them! Needless to say, we didn't get too much trouble from them during the rest of the trip. :) It was all in fun, none of them suffered any extreme wounds of any kind. ;) As for the rafting goes.... we started the next morning and had a BLAST! Went through some class 5 and 4 rapids, lost a few youngins, rescued the ones we wanted to keep and made it back to the hotel for a steak dinner! GREAT trip!

I would love to share some of the other adventures (especially the Quebec trip) but honestly were way too many and my fingers would hate me for all the typing they would have to endure!

Soooooo.... My summer went by waaaay too fast. After saying my farewells to all the amazing people at camp, I started my last semester of my undergrad!! WOOP WOOP!! I was particularly excited about this semester, not only because it was my last, but because it had my internship included in it!

I started my internship at St. Josephs Hospital in Atlanta with the Cardiac Rehab department. This is where my life changed in so many ways in those 4/5 months! I can't even begin to describe all that I learned, gained, and appreciated all the kindness and help I received! The patients I worked with changed my attitude on life... it was beautiful to see these strong people go through a type of rehab on their bodies to gain prolonged health and overall fitness. AND, the best part of it for me, is that I was blessed with the opportunity to be a part of that process! I gained so much knowledge from the staff and even the patients. I had some of the best conversations with a few of the patients that just shared their story of life and how they ended up there, talking with little ole me! It was beauty at its finest! There was one person in particular that gained my interest.... We'll just call her Ms. Mary Mary for confidentiality sake. :) Well Ms. Mary May was quite the lady back in the day from what everyone was saying... she would always came in dressed in her little exercise jump suit... make up on like she was going on a hott Friday night date and smelling like flowers. (the good smelling kind, not the old gross old nursing home kind) So, she would always come over to me and greet me with a hug and ask me how I'm doing... and I would always say "Giiiiiirrrrrl SO MUCH better now that you're here" and she would always just blush and tell me I was just the sweetest thing! hahaha I loved it!! Well, during one of our MANY conversations, somehow the topic of chocolate milk came about... and if you know ANYTHING about me, you know that chocolate milk is my absolute favorite drink! :) Well two days later, she showed up ready to exercise, gave me my hug, asked me how I was doing.... I gave her my usual answer and then she reached into her bag and pulled out a bottle of chocolate milk!! YESSSSSS! I went nuts... and thought it was just one of the kindest gestures someone could do... remember a conversation, go out of their way to buy something as meaningless as a bottle of chocolate milk and give it to me just because it would make me happy. That's awesome to me! Annnnnnnyways... we shared so many stories with each other and became the best of friends! Ms. Mary May became like another Grandma for me! Seeing how both of mine past away a few years back, it was such a blessing to have her in my life! She would give me "girl" advice all the time... it was hilarious! But as time went on, and my time at the hospital was coming to an end, she completed her rehab process and no longer needed to come. On her last day, she asked me how long I had left, and I told her 2 more weeks... so she asked if I would like to have lunch with her a few times while I was still there. Of course I said yes! During our first lunch together she wanted to tell me why she asked about lunch....  She said she wanted to pray with me and talk about this amazing God that I spoke about throughout some of our conversations! Just to go back real fast... she asked me one day why I was so nice to the people there and always so happy... and I said it was because I just felt honored and blessed that the Lord put me in this place to learn and to assist. She went on to say, "I knew there was something different about you". "You love Jesus don't you?" And I said, well yes ma'am I do, very much so! He's saved me, raised me and brought me out of darkness and blessed me beyond belief. She just smiled... and that was the end of that....

Okay, back to the lunch. She asked to pray with me and talk about the Lord more with her because at one point in her life, she did that every day with her husband. (whom passed away about 5 years ago) And mentioned she blamed God for taking him from her and because of that, she stopped praying, going to church and all things about Christ, ceased in her life. She told me that my love was passed  onto her and she gained a new love that shes never felt before! And that she wanted to get involved with her old church again...  have bible studies and so on. And praying with me was just the match to light her fire she said! We met a few more times, prayed together.... embraced for the last time and we went on our ways.... never to be the same again! It's just so awesome to see who or what God puts in our life to help us in whatever time we're in.... it's beautiful!

GRADUATION time!! Internship was over, finals were taken and graduation day finally arrived! I wish I could explain in detail what that day meant to me.... how the transitions and challenges that I went through to get there.... how through sickness and pain, I pressed on and ONLY because of the help and guidance of my Heavenly Father, I finished that journey! As I sat during the commencement speech, I turned to find my parents in the crowd... and when I finally locked on with them, tears were streaming down their face. True happiness at its finest. They said that joy, proud, love, excitement were just a few of the words that went through their thoughts when my name was called and I walked across the stage.... It was a releasing feeling. A weight that was being taken off.... and it felt amazing! :)

That all took place in December... It's now toward the end of January. And here I am.... working toward my new journey and future. Unsure, but extremely excited! I have goals, I have dreams.... and I intend to reach them. I'm on a path that I've been praying for.... and although the terrain doesn't seem easy, I press on and still find the beauty in it all.


Here I am Lord, send me!

ps... here is my intsagram link if you want to follow. :) http://followgram.me/jwalters32

oooooh life....

Life is hard. It is full of work, boredom, difficulty, pain, and stress, with death at the end. In the face of this grim picture, people need, consciously or unconsciously, to find meaning or purpose in life, to give them a reason to endure through the problems of living. They need something to live for.

Some people live for pleasure. They find that, while the times of pleasure may outnumber the times of pain (if they are fortunate), the times of neither pain nor pleasure - of monotony and tedium - outnumber all other times. As a reason to live, pleasure doesn't work very well.

Some live for the pride of owning things. They find that, no matter how much they have, there is always more that they don't have, and there is always someone else who has things that they don't have. As a reason to live, pride of possession doesn't work very well.

Some live to build something that will outlast themselves, perhaps a name or a structure or an organization, as a monument to their existence. But what one generation builds, the next may well destroy. As a reason to live, building something to last into the future doesn't work very well.

Some live for power. Some even get power. But even the most powerful can lose their power, sometimes overnight. Even if they don't lose their power, they die, their funeral comes and goes, and their power is gone - vanished as if it had never been. As a reason to live, power doesn't work very well.

Some have nothing that they live for. They have no purpose, no reason to endure the pain and tedium that life inevitably brings. They have nothing to give their life meaning; they are merely killing time until the day they die.

None of these reasons give our lives any real meaning, nor can we find real fulfillment or satisfaction within them. Never the less, there is one place (and only one) where you can find real meaning and purpose in life. You can find them in a close, personal relationship with the living God. Other reasons to live simply do not work, because they don't reflect who God created us to be - people with a relationship to Himself.

The apostle Paul put it this way:

"according to my earnest expectation and hope, that I shall not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ shall even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death." (Philippians 1:20)

In glorifying (exalting) God, Paul found something to live for that transcended death.

Paul thought that glorifying God should be what we live for, too. "Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." (I Corinthians 10:31)

"For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body." (I Corinthians 6:20)

In both of these passages, Paul is talking about other issues than reasons to live - meat sacrificed to idols and sexual immorality, respectively. These areas have little in common, other than asking, "how should we live our lives?" But Paul places glorifying God as the touchstone, common to both areas, by which we can test what we should do. When a purpose or objective is your basis for deciding what you should and should not do, it is the factor for what you live for. For instance, when you decide what you will do by what will bring you the most pleasure, you are living for pleasure. Paul, then, is asking us to live to glorify God.

What can we do if we don't feel the desire to live our lives to glorify God? We can often change our feelings by dwelling on God's nature, by filling our minds with the beauty of who He is. This continually reminds us of how worthy He is of all of our lives, and often creates in us the desire to live for His glory.

We can ask God to create this desire in our hearts. And in each moment, we can choose to surrender our lives to God, for Him to do His will in and through us, whether we feel like it or not.

A word of caution is in order here. Choosing to glorify God by choosing to surrender our lives to His control works very well; choosing to glorify God by choosing to exert ourselves to do so does not work. Our effort makes a poor foundation for glorifying God, because the focus turns to us - to what we do, rather than to the God we do it for.

I decided, "I'm going to live for God's glory!" I was deciding what goal I was going to exert myself to pursue. The goal was worthy, but my internal focus was still (even if subconsciously) on me - on what I was going to do. In less than a week - and without conscious effort - that good intention degenerated into totally living for myself, my will, and my desires.

Then I tried again, with more determination. Within a month, this second attempt mutated into legalism.

What went wrong? In both cases, I was honestly trying to live for God's glory, but I was using my own human effort to do so.

Then, I decided to let God control my life, to let Him produce in me that which glorifies Him. As I did so, I became more aware of how often (much too often) I was living unsurrendered to God's control, and I became more desirous of yielding those times to Him. I also grew in my awareness of God's presence and love in my daily life. This produced in me praise, worship, and love for God and others in general.

Having said this, I must admit that I am not yet very good at submitting myself to God's control of my life. Growing in this area will be a lifelong process. But I have come far enough to see that this road will lead me to a life that more and more glorifies God.

Romans 13:14 says, "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts." Christ lives in our hearts. Rather than trying to live life in my own power, I should choose to put Him on, to let Him live through me. When I do so, my life reflects God's glory to those around me. I also glorify Him directly by choosing to place His will for (and His control of) my life at this moment ahead of my own will and control.

God Himself dwells inside us. Let us allow Him to live through us, to His glory.

Today's challenge

Everyday on this earth is a challenge.A challenge we seem to have to go through everyday of our lives.It is never easy, because it poses a problem and the problem looks us in the face as if it were laughing at us and saying "I challenge you to get over and through this"! When this particular challenge comes, it always drags along the very solution to get through it. But then the solution is masked and well tucked away from our sight.The only thing that faces us is fear, despair, frustration, discouragement, giving up and so on. If you are a follower of Christ, you know how challenging it is just to stay as obedient and subservient to the Word of the Lord that has laid down in His Law. And if you're not a follower, you still are human and realize hardships when they come at you and feel a sense of vulnerability. Satan poses a threat everywhere we turn to thereby bring up a challenge. And one of the weapons he uses against us, and perhaps the one he uses most, is Fear. Fear is always injected into us anytime we are faced with a problem and the mind is quickly receptive to it.Once fear has taken place we begin to shy away from facing up to the problem and challenging it.This way we are defeated right from the start.What people (along with myself) say is ,"I give up"! I cant seem to go on any longer!!! But HEY.....Do NOT give up!! For if life is a challenge, then you are going to face challenges that will put you to the test. You are equipped with the tools and knowledge to pass these tests and trails. And as a follower of Christ it means you have to be stronger everyday to overcome the challenges you face or... WILL face. If there is a problem then there is a solution to the problem. So the challenge you face is.... finding the solution to the problem. Remember there is ALWAYS a solution or answer to the problem. It could be a hot minute of time before you get the solution.But the solution is always there. We are blessed with the Word that provides the teachers answer key and so whatever problem that poses a challenge to our daily life, has already been taken care of by MY Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. THAT is so reassuring! C'mon somebody! 

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. – Matthew 11:28-30